The Melvins are a wonder. They’ve been at if for over 20 years and with The Bride Screamed Murder, their 20th LP (or so), they’ve given us one of the best of their discography. These guys don’t usually do staid and steady; they take detours and experiment. On 2009’s Chicken Switch they recruited friends to remix their brand of sludgy, chunky metal and it was turned into nearly unlistenable noise. Here they return to form with new originals and an epic cover of The Who’s “My Generation.”
Album opener “The Water Glass,” is a bizarrely awesome thrasher that turns into a call-and-response march halfway through. It seems a suitable starting point for a band who have done whatever they wanted. They started in Washington alongside Nirvana and rode the wave to Lollapalooza, but with album titles like Prick, Stoner Witch (both ‘94) and Electroretard (’01), a record deal with Atlantic just wasn’t their destiny. With Mike Patton and Ipecac Records, however, they’ve found a new home where their creative whims aren’t questioned.
Traditionally, The Melvins have elicited comparisons to the likes of Black Flag, Black Sabbath, Dead Kennedys and The Stooges, and “Evil New War God” churns and burns like the best stoner metal around. The funny and funky presence of an off-kilter cowbell does this song good, a hint that it’s not all long hair and headbanging. They’re into moments of dark silence with dramatic builds and crashes, and with standout “I’ll Finish You Off” their haunting, pounding metallics are accented nicely by an organ that’d fit right in at the Addams Family estate.
The whopping seven-and-a-half-minute version of Pete Townshend’s anthem sounds nothing like the original. It starts out very slowly with spare drums and a low, crunchy guitar before the choral vocals of “People try to put us down” comes in. For a song that was honest-to-goodness radical and poignant for a moment in time, covering it needs to be taken seriously and the Melvins do, which is a relief. The whole album is a relief, frankly. With the state metal’s in, the old weirdos who started it all need to drop gems like this on the heads of hardcore’s youth.
Grace Potter & The Nocturnals Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (Hollywood Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Fiery VT native beefs up her band, employs a big producer, and gets some classy packaging to strive for indie rock success a la Florence & the Machine FREE ASSOCIATION: A few feel like young Bonnie Raitt, some an old Carrie Underwood FOR FANS OF: Lucinda Williams, Susan Tedeschi, recent Norah Jones
The Maine Black & White (Warner Brothers/Sire) SOUNDS LIKE: Arizona dudes' sophomore and major label debut is more mature than their debut, but that just means it's less emo and punk, more soft and adult FREE ASSOCIATION: The love child of Avril Lavigne and Rob Thomas has a band!?! FOR FANS OF: The Starting Line, Boys Like Girls, Yellowcard Miniature Tigers Fortress (Modern Art Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Phoenix boys moved to Brooklyn and took up with the Morning Benders' Chris Chu which gives their whimsical freak folk song that trendy edge FREE ASSOCIATION: What often starts with acoustic guitar turns raucous and ecstatic FOR FANS OF: Animal Collective, Arcade Fire x Grizzly Bear
The Books The Way Out (Temporary Residence) SOUNDS LIKE: Typically weird hiccupy pastiche of samples, found sounds, electronic music and instrumentation; their brilliant fourth has a New Age/self-help theme FREE ASSOCIATION: These brilliant weirdos make it seem like your life is just right FOR FANS OF: Notwist x Aphex Twin, Squarepusher x Bon Iver, hypnosis
Miley Cyrus Can't Be Tamed (Hollywood Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Why does it sound like every song's been fed through a pasta machine of auto-tunage; it's like this woman is actually a robot, a Disney slut robot FREE ASSOCIATION: She covers Poison! This is darker than the usual Ms. Montana BS FOR FANS OF: Zac Efron, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Hillary Duff
Perfume Genius Learning (Matador/Turnstile) SOUNDS LIKE: A Seattle gay goes home to his mother in the woods of Washington and starts crafting painfully emotional and personal songs with a piano FREE ASSOCIATION: Every song seems performed on the verge of tears, in a good way FOR FANS OF: Sufjan Stevens, Xiu Xiu, Antony and the Johnsons, journaling
Lost in the Trees All Alone in an Empty House (Anti-/Trekky) SOUNDS LIKE: A re-issue of the 2008 sophomore LP from North Carolina's Ari Picker and his small army of orchestral and folk friends creating a lush folk pop dream FREE ASSOCIATION: Ahhh! It's from NC; they got lots a beards n' grass down there FOR FANS OF: St. Vincent x Joanna Newsom + Bonnie Prince Billy Buckcherry All Night Long (Eleven Seven Music) SOUNDS LIKE: LA's "hard" rockers were introduced by a tattoo artist nearly 15 years ago and on their fifth you wonder what their secret is; surgery and Monster, methinks FREE ASSOCIATION: Remember "Crazy Bitch"? Man, that was awesome FOR FANS OF: AC/DC, Aerosmith, RHCP, Collective Soul, McFadden's
Eli "Paperboy" Reed Come and Get It! (Capitol Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Where is white soul going to go? Not with Eli, the Boston-bred cool dadio whose spin on modern soul, horns section and all, is boring and tepid FREE ASSOCIATION: Oh, Amy, please snap out of your drunken rage and put out a record FOR FANS OF: Black Joe Lewis, Sharon Jones, Mayer Hawthorne
Street Sweeper Social Club The Ghetto Blaster EP (Gold Village Entertainment) Sounds Like: Tom Morello and Boots Riley are a duo of '90s-inpsired rap rock activists choosing to fight the good fight with covers of MIA and LL Cool J FREE ASSOCIATION: Sometimes, nay often, rap and rock do not mix; leave LL be, pls, thx FOR FANS OF: Rage, The Coup, Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, fist pumping
Screamin' Cyn Cyn & The Pons Damn, Girl (Crustacean Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Bizzare theatrical punk rock filled with moments of absurdity and rife with curses, male v. female banter and cringe-worthy low budgetness FREE ASSOCIATION: Kind of like a harder B-52's but they did it right and thirty years ago FOR FANS OF: Leslie and the LYs, King Khan & BBQ, press-on nails
Dan Mangan Nice, Nice, Very Nice (Arts & Crafts) SOUNDS LIKE: Vancouver songwriter's second is more complex than strums and heartbreak, guests and instruments abound on a lively, thoughtful folk rock record FREE ASSOCIATION: Moments of melancholy are punctuated by joy and swells of sound FOR FANS OF: Louder Bon Iver, Jason Collet, Great Lake Swimmers Mystery Jets Serotonin (Rough Trade Records) SOUNDS LIKE: A grandiose third record from Brits adore XTC and Pink Floyd but here use throwback synths in romantic ways to flavor their baroque power pop FREE ASSOCIATION: With each LP they change labels and sound, keep em' comin'! FOR FANS OF: Arcade Fire x ELO, Travis x Smiths, Noah and the Whale
It’s August. Labor Day is a mere month away and with our last installment in the Song of the Summer battle, we named a Top Ten. Only a couple songs seem to have any kind of steam to push their way into consideration before a winner is crowned but a couple will enter into the list this week and push a couple suckers out of the way. But first, let’s talk about charts.
Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” currently sits on the top of the Pop chart having needled its way into your skull for 11 weeks now. Do we admit defeat? Do we let Katy lower that sash across her torso? Absolutely not. That shit is tired. A quick look at the rest of the Pop chart’s Top Ten is revealing, in that we needn’t let the charts weigh heavily on our consideration of what is actually good and gay. B.o.B. (or Bobby Ray) hit it big with “Airplanes,” and Travie McCoy’s “Billionaire” is still at it. Both of these songs are completely boring minus Hayley Williams’ (of Paramore) appearance on “Airplanes.” She’s adorable.
Mike Posner, now this one’s interesting. This “Cooler Than Me” song’s doing really well, and he’s sexy as hell. But, this song is brutal. The video is shiny and intoxicating, but the song just won’t cut it. Eminem’s success is slightly mystifying; “Love the Way You Lie” made it to our list, mostly because of Rihanna, but his presence on the Pop chart makes him a little gay, no? Must be tough for him.
Usher, Jason Derulo and Taio Cruz are holding down the R&B heavy hitting with “OMG,” “Ridin’ Solo” and “Dynamite.” Usher’s got it going on, always has and always will. But Derulo and Cruz are forgettable times ten. Rounding out the Top Ten are La Roux—the Brit electropop duo’s “Bulletproof” has been on the chart for 21 weeks—and the lovely and fresh-faced Shontelle, whose “Impossible” is a delightful power ballad. She’s a keeper and perhaps August will be hers for gracing magazine covers and talk-show couches.
As for our picks... LAST WEEK’S LIST:
1. Adam Lambert – “If I Had You”
2. Nicki Minaj – “Your Love”
3. Eminem featuring Rihanna – “Love the Way You Lie”
4. Kylie Minogue – “All the Lovers”
5. Ke$ha – “Your Love Is My Drug”
6. Robyn – “Fembot”
7. Scissor Sisters – “Fire with Fire”
8. Big Boi featuring Cutty – “Shutterbugg”
9. Usher featuring will.i.am – OMG
10. Kelly Rowland featuring David Guetta – “Commander”
THIS WEEK’S LIST: 1. Nicki Minaj – “Your Love”
2. Kylie Minogue – “All the Lovers”
3. Robyn – “Hang with Me”/“Dancing on My Own”
4. Scissor Sisters – “Fire with Fire”
5. Ke$ha – “Your Love Is My Drug”
6. Big Boi – “Shutterbugg”
7. Shontelle – “Impossible”
8. Janelle Monáe – “Tightrope”
Adam Lambert discreetly disappeared off of the charts and out of people’s minds, it seems. His big gay video was so exciting and it still is. But maybe America’s not ready for a huge forest rave with weird cabaret outfits. Eminem will never helm a gay man’s Song of the Summer, period. Kelly’s “Commander” sunk on the charts. Her November LP release is worth getting excited over but the lead single just doesn’t have what it takes to become a national gay sensation.
Robyn’s been kicking ass and taking names this year, including a raved-about performance at Chicago’s Pitchfork festival. And I’m totally cheating by naming two songs but whatever, the new single for a danced-up version of the stunning Pt. 1 single “Hang with Me” is the lead single from September’s Pt. 2 and it feels like a perfect end-of-summer reflection on the summer flings that will undoubtedly come to a screeching halt in the next few weeks. And with “Dancing on My Own” currently banging in clubs on the regular, she actually concocted dance moves to fit the lyrics and they’re the gayest.
Nicki, Kylie and Ke$ha are all in tight contention and their singles are neck and neck at the moment. Scissor Sisters, Big Boi, Shontelle and Janelle are the wild cards, really. The newbies, “Impossible” and “Tightrope,” have been slow builders but after watching Janelle on Ellen the other day, she’s just got to be involved with this list. I’d rather have “Cold War” or “Faster” from The ArchAndroid register on people’s pop-culture radar but it’s just not the case. She’s got loads of charm. “Impossible” feels like the perfect melancholic conclusion to a sweaty, hot summer. This will be the comforting ballad for your summer-fling breakup that’ll get you moving to the club again. —Bill Chenevert
If you didn't know, I can tell you for certain: Robyn is the hottest thing on Earth at the moment. She is talented as hell and she murdered a performance at the Trocadero last night in her usual charming way. She can move. She can fucking dance her ass off and you know what? It was hot as Hades in there and it was pretty packed. She came out in these high waisted white pants with a bold red floral, a small little halter tank and a billowy black jacket that she wore for about one half of a song before it came off. She got covered in sweat and thank goodness, for it. She put on a beret. She was like a sexy pop machine.
And she's working that futuristic vibe in the most delicious and almost understated way. She's slowly but surely buildinger herself up to giant international pop star status and while I will be absolutely pumped to check out future legs of this tour, when her other two Body Talk records are out, this might be one of the last times to have seen her at a smaller place like the Troc. Soon enough she'll be at the Electric Factory or the TLA. She came out with "Fembots" blazing, the charming should-be single from June's Body Talk Pt. 1 in which she likens herself to a sex machine. These are some of the most playfully sexual pop lyrics in recent memory: "Pull up in docking position, Pop the hatch and hit ignition" and "In fact I'm a very scientifically advanced hot mama, Artificially discreet no drama, Digitally chic titanium mama." One of the things I love most about Robyn is how hot she is in a modest, urban kind of way with clothes that are baggy on purpose. She's got a great body but because she's healthy, she dances her ass off every night.
I'd been YouTubing and watching Vimeo videos of hers for a few nights leading up to Tuesday night. I had to educate myself on her self-titled 2005, her triumphant return to America's airwaves after the monster hit "Show Me Love" in '96. Robyn has some phenomenally solid pop tunes on it, too. I'd listened to the new Body Rock record on repeat, over and over, late at night coming home from the bar, cleaning house, drinking beers. I've grown to know this record very intimately and somehow I hadn't found the self-titled until recently. There are some awesome hits and she busted them out last night including the Knife collaboration "Who's That Girl?" The beat is drowsy and funky and she coos about good girls, they're "always pretty, like all the time, I'm just pretty, some of the time." Such a clever little girl, isn't she? I was slightly disappointed that she didn't perform "Handle Me," a quirky hip hop flavored single, but she did pull out the old favorites "Be Mine!" and delivered an unforgettable closing encore version of "With Every Heartbeat."
She also nailed versions of Body Talk gems "Dancehall Queen," "Don't Fucking Tell Me What To Do" and, most importantly, the seriously infectious and powerful single "Dancing On My Own." This is the song she performed on Letterman flawlessly and passionately, and made a video for that is outstandingly well made. In it she sings of that familiar feeling of being in a club and seeing the one you want kissing another guy, or girl. You can run to the bar and be the drunk one, or you can say 'Eff that, I'm gonna just dance really well and enthusiastically. He will notice and he will admit his mistake.' Obviously Robyn chooses option 2 and she even made up some dance moves in the process. They're so simple but they fit in perfectly with the opening of the second verse: "I'm just gonna dance all night." Her arms shoot up to her chest and she pops them cheerleader-like across her chest, then they fly up, fists pumped then down to her hips, one after the other. "I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line" she plays invisible drums to the left, to the right, more quick arm pops, slowly at tics with her right arm, swing it around to the other. "Stillettos and broken bottles, I'm spinning around in circles" and she punches right right, left left, spins her arm like a windmill and then herself. It's just so damn charming.
What was missing from last night show was the new and deliriously charming single from the upcoming Pt. 2. "Hang With Me" is on Pt. 1 as a slow, acoustic plee and for this new single she's turned it into a joyous, shimmery dance track. It's a perfect summer love song: "Don't fall recklessly, headlessly in love with me, Cause it's gonna be, All heartbreak, Blissfully painful and insanity." A perfect video accompanies of our pop heroine on tour in buses, backstage, getting primped and lying around in hotels, and working a whipped up crowd into a frenzy. I'm finding it more and more difficult to take her advice with this one, I'm just gonna go ahead and fall in love with you. I want the blissful painful insanity.
No more stalling, girls. In our quest to determine the ultimate Song of the Summer, we’re going to have to start hurting some feelings. Some songs just aren’t winners. And while there are potential contenders who might show up in August, we’ve got a pretty clear picture of who’s got a good grip on the bouquet.
New York Magazine named a Top Six at the end of May before summer even started and the chart monsters are definitely there (Usher, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga) but hopefully none of those duds are actually winners in this race. Is the Summer 2K10 much more than “California Gurls?” Let’s hope.
As we hit the hottest stretch of summer it’s time to shed some baggage. In the most recent installment we put nine pairs together, 18 artists with hits on the summer radar. So let’s make a Top Ten and keep our eye out for late-July and August hopefuls expecting to put up a fight for the title.
HERE SHE COMES (With the Momentum) 1. Adam Lambert – “If I Had You” Oh, thank you. I knew from the second I saw that ridiculous For Your Entertainment record cover that this album would have one party-time gay smash hit. It was only a matter of time before he worked out the kinks and perfectly planned the drop of a club anthem. With this video, it’s like watching your coming-out-of-the-closet best friend take his shirt off on the dance floor for the first time.
2. Nicki Minaj – “Your Love” This bitch took out Alicia Keys with the quickness. Her single from the Barbie World mixtape blatantly rips off Annie Lenox but who cares? It’s been on the chart for nine weeks and has already skyrocketed to Top 20 Radio status. We knew she had “spunk” from all her collabs, but maybe going solo is the ticket to her success. She’s struck gold with this one.
3. Eminem featuring Rihanna – “Love the Way You Lie” It’d be weird for a gay-hater like Em to snatch the title, but you can’t deny the power of this song. While the entirety of Recovery, his newest LP, is a total downer and the previous hit, “Not Afraid,” is all basement-weight-lifter-white-male, this one’s got some serious steam behind it. It’s the No. 1 digital download and No. 2 Hot 100 track at the moment and it came out three weeks ago. DAMN. IF YOU WANT TO WIN YOU’VE GOT TO GET THE GAYS IN YOUR CORNER 4. Kylie Minogue – “All the Lovers” It’s much easier to root for Kylie now that we’ve heard the full album, Aphrodite, because it is awesome. This single, while absent on big Billboard charts, is easily topping (tee-hee) lists for gays who inhabit clubs. It’s a pretty simple song but on par with what we’ve come to expect from our goddess: synths, a swelling chorus, a euro-disco flare and the ever-present sex appeal.
5. Ke$ha – “Your Love Is My Drug” Sweet Jesus, I almost can’t believe I just typed her name with a dollar sign. But, seriously, this song isn’t going anywhere. It’s been on the charts for 22 weeks. This video’s been watched over 11 million times. The late-May release of this one was perfect timing for SOS placement. And even though her voice is kind of awful, the production is spot on—just the right amount of auto-tune and tinny electronica.
6. Robyn – “Fembot” The buzz around this Swedish blonde is strong. She just killed it at Chicago’s Pitchfork Music Festival, proving that she’s got game in a number of arenas: the indie world, big crowds, international success and places to dance. Put on Body Talk and try not to smile and move. She’s clever with her slutty lyricism (“Pull up in docking position/Pop the hatch and hit ignition”) but also packs a punch with hypnotizing beats. She might just be the one to watch.
7. Scissor Sisters – “Fire With Fire” While we wait with bated breath for more singles and videos from the unbelievably fabulous Night Work, for now we work with “Fire.” But, seriously, in the ridiculous “Any Which Way,” Ana Matronic coos that she’s going to find that man “that’s the right shade of bottle tan/A man that smells like cocoa butter and cash.” I gag. Good idea, Miss Thing.
ALSO BLASTING FROM CAR SYSTEMS 8. Big Boi featuring Cutty – “Shutterbugg” Sir Lucious Left Foot knows what’s up. This is the future. We need our hip-hop to be more than just ’hood. We need soul, we need style and we need to cut a damn rug up. This song’s been populating Saturday nights for a month or two now, and it’s not tiresome. He just turned it out with the Roots on Jimmy Fallon and it was sick. The whole record is a masterpiece kind of like Janelle Monáe’s. These two are the future’s future.
9. Usher featuring Will.i.am – OMG What can you say? He hit it out of the park with this. You can’t stop it. If a gun was put to my head and I was told to choose a song to listen to on repeat between “California Gurls,” LMFAO’s “Shots” or this one there’d be no question. Usher’s a talented man (remember “U Don’t Have to Call”?) and even though Will.i.am is pretty much the devil incarnate, this is no “I Gotta Feeling.”
10. Kelly Rowland featuring David Guetta – “Commander” She’s Top-Ten status, no doubt. Especially with her presence last summer, now, with this track she’s vogue-ing mirror-style with herself in tight latex. You’re in!
In Pitchfork’s 8.5-rated review of Converge’s Axe to Fall, Cosmo Lee compares the Boston quartet to pretty much the biggest punk band of our time, Black Flag. He even likens singer Jacob Bannan’s imagery on the covers of Jane Doe and You Fail Me to Black Flag’s bars. So whether they’re intentionally going for it, Converge have done well in achieving influence, acclaim, and success in the hardcore metal market. There’s a reason this album is their most commercially successful effort to date: it bowls people over with their talent.
What seems to be clear is that an artistically impressive hardcore metal record must have more than just balls-to-the-wall thrashers. Converge certainly deliver those in the first four tracks with “Dark Horse,” “Reap What You Sow,” the title track and “Effigy.” But then you get “Worms Will Feed,” an ambient and disturbing slow build with a reverb-heavy feedback intro that you’re just expecting to explode. And it does, with Bannan’s howl, Kurt Ballou’s needling guitar and Ben Koller’s patient drumming. “Worms” ushers in a lovely slower-paced portion of the record with “Losing Battle” picking the pace back up with a blistering, punishing drum part at its core.
Bannan, Ballou, Koller and bassist Nate Newton invited a host of musicians to guest throughout the record. Members of Cave In provide guitar and drums on “Effigy,” Steve Von Till of Neurosis offers lead vocals on “Cruel Bloom,” and Genghis Tron show up for “Wretched World,” the record’s exquisite closer. These are Converge’s contemporaries but this is not a “guests” record, so to speak. In fact, with this collection of songs they’ve shot to the top of the class. Few bands achieve their level of artistry in the metal field, but perhaps sharing the genre’s spotlight with Isis, Mastadon, Dillinger Escape Plan and Deftones would be appropriate.
It’s rare to find a hardcore metal record that induces headbanging and moshing the way that, say, “Dark Horse” would, and also includes a first-rate stoner voyage on “Wretched World.” Axe to Fall is an impressive record with diversity, good pacing, tempo varieties and passionate playing.
Kylie Minogue Aphrodite (EMI Records) SOUNDS LIKE: At last, a sustainable crop of dancefloor gems from the Aussie whose "All The Lovers" is as good as the record; beat-heavy, ecstatic, simple and joyous FREE ASSOCIATION: She's no opera singer, but she can make a damn fine pop song FOR FANS OF: Cher, ABBA, Annie, Olivia Newton-John, vodka
Sting Symphonicities (UMG Recordings) SOUNDS LIKE: The English legend employs New York and London philharmonics to back his songs from Police days to now, and it's not as terrible as it could be FREE ASSOCIATION: "Roxanne" sucks bad; still better than that horrifying Xmas record FOR FANS OF: Don Henley, Elton John, Billy Joel, Paul MCCartney
Hanson Shout It Out (3CG Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Oklahoma boys are get older and settle into a soft rock niche; some of these have solid craft and execution, but some are so vanilla, not even vanilla bean FREE ASSOCIATION: Say what you will, Middle of Nowhere was a sick record in 1997! FOR FANS OF: One Republic, Five for Fighting, Jonas Brothers
Skinny Friedman Hundred Dollar Salad EP (Young Robots) SOUNDS LIKE: Philly DJ's funky as hell house, dancehall and dubstep collection of three new songs and three remixes from Sammy Bananas and DJ Apt One FREE ASSOCIATION: Think you don't like house or dance music? Try to hate on this FOR FANS OF: Hercules and Love Affair, Juan MacLean, UNKLE, disco
Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse Dark Night of the Soul (DNOTS/Capitol) SOUNDS LIKE: Sparkles is mostly Mark Linkous and, obvs, Mr. Mouse is the Gnarls Barkley//Beck producer, and here's a muddle super-guest star record FREE ASSOCIATION: James Mercer! Iggy Pop! Julian Casablancas! David Lynch! Enough. FOR FANS OF: Traffic, messy bedrooms, banana splits, super sizing
Sia We Are Born (Monkey Puzzle/JIVE) SOUNDS LIKE: The Aussie/UK songwriter leaves behind the nap-inducing jazzy vocals of the past and gives a big ole' bear hug to dance-friendly diva anthems FREE ASSOCIATION: These are some stunning, funky times ten dance tracks, damn! FOR FANS OF: Zero 7, Beth Ditto, Beth Orton, Nelly Furtado, reinventions
MIA /\/\/\Y/\ (N.E.E.T. Recordings/XL) SOUNDS LIKE: Her third sure is full of wolrdly bleeps, noises, scratchy rhythms and beats but most disturbing is that we realize that she can't really sing or rap well FREE ASSOCIATION: Hype and production's only gonna get you so far, sister FOR FANS OF: Peaches, Lady Sovereign, Amanda Blank, truffle fries
Big Boi Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty (Def Jam) SOUNDS LIKE: "Shutterbugg" is just the tip of the Escalade, this is a dense, funky album of potent hip hop with excellent guest spots from Janelle Monae and T.I. FREE ASSOCIATION: Speakerboxxx was gonna be tough to live up to but he KILLS it! FOR FANS OF: Curtis Mayfield meets Cee-Lo, Goodie Mob, crunkness
RJD2 Inversions Of The Colossus (RJ's Electrical Connections) SOUNDS LIKE: Another one from our local disc-spinning hero, some re-worked versions of his January release but some new, beat perfect jams here, too FREE ASSOCIATION: There's nobody that harkens back to DJ Shadow quite like him FOR FANS OF: Boom Bip, El-P, Danger Mouse, Daedelus, Diplo The Gaslight Anthem American Slang (Side One Dummy) SOUNDS LIKE: New Brunswick, NJ quartet of punk revivalists who have clearly adored Bruce their whole lives but have their own pleasant spin on heartland rock FREE ASSOCIATION: So Jersey isn't your favorite, but you can't deny their rockness FOR FANS OF: Calm Pearl Jam, The Hold Steady, Ted Leo, raspy vocals
Konono No 1 Assume Crash Position (Crammed Discs) SOUNDS LIKE: Congo's supreme street band, they use junk to make instruments and amplifiers that churn out rhythmic, modern-influenced joyful dance music FREE ASSOCIATION: You'll have no idea what they're saying but it doesn't matter - dance! FOR FANS OF: Fela Kuti, The Very Best, BLK JKS, happy times
Pan Sonic Gravitoni (Blast First Petite) SOUNDS LIKE: Whacked out Finnish noise minimalists who've made instruments out of power tools creating compositions of tripped out beat-heavy electro FREE ASSOCIATION: There's something wrong with this disc it's all glitchy and fuzzy FOR FANS OF: Bjork, Autchre, Johann Johannsson, Matmos, challenges
Carissa's Wierd They'll Only Miss You When You Leave: Songs 1996-2003 (Hardly Art) SOUNDS LIKE: Seatlle's chamber rock collective, birthplace of Band of Horses, issues a retrospective that's full of strings, piano, ambience and beauty FREE ASSOCIATION: A reunion isn't necessary with this lovely collection of tunes FOR FANS OF: Grand Archives, Death Cab, Modest Mouse
Chatham County Line Wildwood (Yep Roc) SOUNDS LIKE: Rootsy Americana from a North Carolina foursome, their fourth LP with Yep Roc, is a beautifully picked and sang piece of countrified folk FREE ASSOCIATION: If bluegrass is ever gonna do it for you this might be just the thing FOR FANS OF: Uncle Tupelo, Del McCoury, Steve Earle, pedal steels
Jackie Greene Till The Light Comes (429 Records) SOUNDS LIKE: California boy's been at it for almost a decade now, on his sixth he goes a pit poppier, a much more hook and melody-friendly version of his alt-rock FREE ASSOCIATION: These are perfectly crafted tales that sound rich and complex FOR FANS OF: Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Billy Bragg, Joe Pug, the Boss
Seu Jorge and Almaz Seu Jorge and Almaz (Now-Again) SOUNDS LIKE: Brazil's resident musical genius gets a band, fills out his sound with a tight rhythm section, a casual electric guitar and his remarkable voice over the top FREE ASSOCIATION: Life Aquatic was the tip of the iceberg, this man's a force of nature! FOR FANS OF: City of God, tropicalia, maracas, Stevie Wonder meets Bowie
Scissor Sisters Night Work (Downtown Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Disco pop thrives with NY's troupe of gender-bending queers under the guidance of Stuart Price (Madonna, Kylie, Killers) on this synth-friendly opus FREE ASSOCIATION: Their debut was genius, Ta-Dah! was a bore, this one's wicked good! FOR FANS OF: Bee Gees, Blondie, Mika, Duran Duran, disco balls
Maps & Atlases Perch Patchwork (Barsuk) SOUNDS LIKE: Sometimes angular and punchy, others rhythmic and ecstatic, Chicago-bred math rockers' debut is an occasionally wonky but solid LP FREE ASSOCIATION: Oh snap, they usin' a flute! Doesn't make them J Tull but still, props FOR FANS OF: Menomena, Shapes and Sizes, Man Man, finds
Samantha Crain You (Understood) (Ramseur Records) SOUNDS LIKE: The Oklahoman dynamo has a voice that barrels you over with thoughtful, mysteriously dark lyricism and a talented backing band to boot FREE ASSOCIATION: Maybe its her Choctaw origin, but this girl's got soul and it shows FOR FANS OF: Regina Spektor x Joanna Newsom, Gillian Welch
Best Coast Crazy For You (Mexican Summer) SOUNDS LIKE: Bethany Cosentino took her time, picked a good band, and now finally a stellar batch of fleshed out surf rock, girl pop indie rock with grit and punch FREE ASSOCIATION: When will this beachy retro girl pop wave start to feel tired? Not yet! FOR FANS OF: Beach House meets Vivian Girls, Jenny Lewis with Real Estate
Neu! Neu! '86/Vinyl Box (Gronland Records) SOUNDS LIKE: Krautrock legends and Kraftwerkers, Michael Rother and Klaus Dinger, made a huge volume of inspiring, stripped down proto-electro grooves FREE ASSOCIATION: Here they release a previously unheard record and box up the past FOR FANS OF: Can, Bowie, Tortoise, Velvet Underground, !!!, Yaz
Miss TK and the Revenge The Ocean Likes to Party Too (Ernest Jenning Record Co.) SOUNDS LIKE: Asbury Park dance pop masters shock with their simplistic grooves and funktastic rhythms and bass while Miss TK coos and groans the party started FREE ASSOCIATION: Miss TK could easily do what MIA does if she were Sri Lankan FOR FANS OF: Peaches, The Sounds, Le Tigre, Human League
The Melvins The Bride Screamed Murder (Ipecac Recordings) SOUNDS LIKE: One of the weirdest bands around bundle a march, sludgy metal, a 7-minute Who cover ("My Generation") and punk/noise into one on their 20th LP FREE ASSOCIATION: Fans will eat it up; at least it's not a bunch of covers and remixes FOR FANS OF: Black Flag, Sonic Youth, Boris, Soundgarden
Wolf Parade Expo '86 (Sub Pop) SOUNDS LIKE: The Quebecois rockers have made a brooding, moody gem of guitar and drum rock, perhaps not as catchy or digestible as we're used to but it'll do FREE ASSOCIATION: It pays to have some big deal friends (Arcade Fire and Isaac Brock) FOR FANS OF: Modest Mouse, Built to Spill, Frog Eyes, Canada rock
In Search of the Douchebag: A crawl up Third Street, from Oregon to Girard.
The premise was simple enough: A crawl of the Third Street corridor’s bars, from Oregon to Girard, to investigate the nearly three-mile stretch with the reputation of having the highest douchebag-bar concentration in the city. But what exactly constitutes a douchebag bar, you ask? It’s broad, but I compiled a ranking system by asking that question of various people I met along my journey. The most common responses involved similarity of patrons to one another, fights, fashion cliches and open mistrust or mistreatment of the Other (whether gay, female, of color, skinny, fat, etc.). I found my definition challenged at each destination, which I lined up bottom-to-top.
(Note: If you haven’t ever tried to bike or drive around Pennsport, around Snyder, Third becomes Second, Second becomes Third and Moyamensing screws everything up. If an address is on Second St., just take our word for it.)
Nickels Tavern (2655 S. Second St.) was just about empty. A delightful Two Street native named Nicole bartended with a solid tan and a heartwarming accent. Fights-wise, every second Saturday she serves beer to men just out of extreme wrestling bouts at the Arena who are sometimes held together with stitches and bloody bandages, but that’s only once a month. Anyway, in Nicole’s experience, guys who’ve been fighting all night just want another beer, not another brawl, much less to fight in the amateur sense. Nicole’s instinct when pressed to name the Douchiest Philly Bar was Fatso Foggerty’s (2655 S. 18th St.), a bar that in her experience is full of junkies, addicts and dickheads. RANKING: 6
Off to Raw Dawgs Saloon (1700 S. Second St.) at Morris St., on the border of Pennsport and Queens Village. Demerits for the vaguely Irish theme, the (sparse) presence of loudmouth South Philly guys and the incredibly loud jukebox. A regular named Jimmy was playing Springsteen, which was a slight relief from Eminem, but even the Boss gets grating when you can’t hear yourself think. Thankfully, nice bartender Scott turned down the jukebox to talk to me, giving me one of my best definitions of the night: “What do you mean by douchebags? Like, five guys who look all alike?” RANKING: 5
Makos (301 South St.) was where the night took off, as I started getting to bars that had more people than I could count on my fingers. I parked my bike in front of O’Neals (611 S. Third St.), and the bouncer, Dan, confirmed that Jon’s Bar & Grille (606 S. Third St.) was more upscale, but that I was about to hit the douchebag jackpot at Makos. But, I soon realized, Dan must have been operating off yet another definition of the word. Makos was more populated with South Street-type freaks and weirdos. While Rammstein and Rob Zombie blared and strobes flashed, no one seemed douchey so much as frightening and dangerous. RANKING: 4
National Mechanics (22 S. Third St.) isn’t so bad on its own, despite its Old City location. Some sweet girls took me under their wing and had a wealth of expertise to offer. Lianna, Allie, Sarah and Jenn offered some traits from the perspective of female bargoers as to what constitutes a douchebag: “Guys who think they are the shit when they’re not,” “Screaming in a bar” and “Acting like you’re in a frat when you’re 29.” With the aid of their trained female eyes, I counted five d-bags (from afar) here, one confirmed by Jenn, “He’s talking to girls and looking around.” Damning! RANKING: 2
McFaddens (459 N. Third St.), in that weird pocket between Spring Garden and the expressway that’s dead aside from a few Walmart-sized bars, was a mystifying experience. With a $5 cover and $4.50 Lager drafts served in a plastic cup, apparently the patrons here have money to blow. It was here that music began to play a significant part in my ranking criteria. Think “Cherry Pie,” “Get Low” and then “Cotton-Eyed Joe” to get the party started. One dude went over to a tall woman of color in heels, danced up on her for a few seconds, then came back to his friends and collected his high fives. “I did it!” Ugh, I was out of there, $5 cover or not. RANKING: 1
North Third (801 N. Third St.) is tricky. This Northern Liberties bar had few popped collars and the “Cotton-Eyed Joe” count was at zero (thank god), but bartender Scott’s words echoed in my mind. “Like, five guys who look all alike?” Is a crew of loud dudes with identical wash jeans and black button-downs really that different from a crew of loud dudes with the same plaids, knit hats and whimsical facial hair? Or there’s always bad manners, the staff reminded me. “Getting called ‘sweetie’ or ‘hon,’ snapping at an empty glass, ordering things that aren’t on the menu, sitting at a dirty table” are all behaviors they’d classify as douchebaggery. RANKING: 3
Conclusion: McFaddens is clearly the Douchiest Bar on Third Street! I’m not going to lie, “Cotton-Eyed Joe” had a lot to do with my ruling.
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An upstate country boy who was Johnny HighSchool, went to an expensive liberal arts college and took about 20 English classes, went to graduate school in Oregon for a couple years then came back to the Empire state and tried to pass as a city boy for a minute. Now I'm Philly and I love it.
