30 Second Reviews from 1/12

Eminem
Relapse
(Aftermath)
SOUNDS LIKE: Em emerges from a five-year seclusion to rap (angrily) about the usuals: addiction, his family, starlets, and queers
FREE ASSOCIATION: Good thing Dre still likes him, not sure many others do
FOR FANS OF: Slim Shady, Ghostface, DMX, pills/drugs

Lady Gaga
Fame Monster
(Interscope/Kon Live)
SOUNDS LIKE: The camp queen creates shiny, synthy, super-produced Eurotrash dancefloor hits that highlight her insanity
FREE ASSOCIATION: An avowed GaGa hater gives her an honest listen; pass the Hatorade, please
FOR FANS OF: Cher, Queen, Bowie, La Roux, dick

Anvil
This Is Thirteen
(VH1 Classic Records)
SOUNDS LIKE: The mighty metalsmiths of Canada have been revived by a 2009 documentary and a label willing to put out these 13 songs
FREE ASSOCIATION: An hour of grindy, crunchy, growling old guys; not awful
FOR FANS OF: Anthrax, Metallica, Megadeath, Slayer

Every Avenue
Picture Perfect
(Fearless Records)
SOUNDS LIKE: Michigan boys' second LP of alt-pop emo rock is not as bas it could be; it's clean, nothing over 4 minutes, nothing too harsh
FREE ASSOCIATION: Get past the stigma of the genre and their look and it's not so bad
FOR FANS OF: Blink 182, Weezer, girlfriend breakup songs

The Disco Biscuits
Planet Anthem
(Diamond Riggs)
SOUNDS LIKE: Trance fusion hometown boys make records that reflect their live show; funky, jammy, dancy and trippy
FREE ASSOCIATION: A lot less high-energy this time, more polished, poppy, ambient and retro
FOR FANS OF: moe., Umphrey's McGee, Sound Tribe, patch pants

Rose Melberg
Homemade Ship
(K Records)
SOUNDS LIKE: In bands since 1992, she's an indie pop Renaissance woman; her second solo is twee as hell and precious
FREE ASSOCIATION: Vocals sweeter than Jenny Lewis' blended with simple syrup
FOR FANS OF: Go Sailor, Amy Milan/Stars, hushed acoustic rock

Animal Hospital
Memory
(Barge)
SOUNDS LIKE: Minimal but dense post rock opus three years in the making with a few 15-minute journeys through time and brains
FREE ASSOCIATION: Sometimes scratchy and reverby, then rhythmic and pretty
FOR FANS OF: Tortoise, Brian Eno, chill Fuck Buttons

Lissie
Why You Runnin'
(Fat Possum)
SOUNDS LIKE: Brooding, beautifully dark folk EP from an Illinois girl with an old soul who ran off to CA to find heartache
FREE ASSOCIATION: Spare production puts her blazing voice at the eerie front and center
FOR FANS OF: Canyon ladies Patti, Joni and Neko, Shelby Lynne

THE REAL CHARTICLE.