No more stalling, girls. In our quest to determine the ultimate Song of the Summer, we’re going to have to start hurting some feelings. Some songs just aren’t winners. And while there are potential contenders who might show up in August, we’ve got a pretty clear picture of who’s got a good grip on the bouquet.
New York Magazine named a Top Six at the end of May before summer even started and the chart monsters are definitely there (Usher, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga) but hopefully none of those duds are actually winners in this race. Is the Summer 2K10 much more than “California Gurls?” Let’s hope.
As we hit the hottest stretch of summer it’s time to shed some baggage. In the most recent installment we put nine pairs together, 18 artists with hits on the summer radar. So let’s make a Top Ten and keep our eye out for late-July and August hopefuls expecting to put up a fight for the title.
HERE SHE COMES (With the Momentum)
1. Adam Lambert – “If I Had You”
Oh, thank you. I knew from the second I saw that ridiculous For Your Entertainment record cover that this album would have one party-time gay smash hit. It was only a matter of time before he worked out the kinks and perfectly planned the drop of a club anthem. With this video, it’s like watching your coming-out-of-the-closet best friend take his shirt off on the dance floor for the first time.
2. Nicki Minaj – “Your Love”
This bitch took out Alicia Keys with the quickness. Her single from the Barbie World mixtape blatantly rips off Annie Lenox but who cares? It’s been on the chart for nine weeks and has already skyrocketed to Top 20 Radio status. We knew she had “spunk” from all her collabs, but maybe going solo is the ticket to her success. She’s struck gold with this one.
3. Eminem featuring Rihanna – “Love the Way You Lie”
It’d be weird for a gay-hater like Em to snatch the title, but you can’t deny the power of this song. While the entirety of Recovery, his newest LP, is a total downer and the previous hit, “Not Afraid,” is all basement-weight-lifter-white-male, this one’s got some serious steam behind it. It’s the No. 1 digital download and No. 2 Hot 100 track at the moment and it came out three weeks ago. DAMN.
IF YOU WANT TO WIN YOU’VE GOT TO GET THE GAYS IN YOUR CORNER
4. Kylie Minogue – “All the Lovers”
It’s much easier to root for Kylie now that we’ve heard the full album, Aphrodite, because it is awesome. This single, while absent on big Billboard charts, is easily topping (tee-hee) lists for gays who inhabit clubs. It’s a pretty simple song but on par with what we’ve come to expect from our goddess: synths, a swelling chorus, a euro-disco flare and the ever-present sex appeal.
5. Ke$ha – “Your Love Is My Drug”
Sweet Jesus, I almost can’t believe I just typed her name with a dollar sign. But, seriously, this song isn’t going anywhere. It’s been on the charts for 22 weeks. This video’s been watched over 11 million times. The late-May release of this one was perfect timing for SOS placement. And even though her voice is kind of awful, the production is spot on—just the right amount of auto-tune and tinny electronica.
6. Robyn – “Fembot”
The buzz around this Swedish blonde is strong. She just killed it at Chicago’s Pitchfork Music Festival, proving that she’s got game in a number of arenas: the indie world, big crowds, international success and places to dance. Put on Body Talk and try not to smile and move. She’s clever with her slutty lyricism (“Pull up in docking position/Pop the hatch and hit ignition”) but also packs a punch with hypnotizing beats. She might just be the one to watch.
7. Scissor Sisters – “Fire With Fire”
While we wait with bated breath for more singles and videos from the unbelievably fabulous Night Work, for now we work with “Fire.” But, seriously, in the ridiculous “Any Which Way,” Ana Matronic coos that she’s going to find that man “that’s the right shade of bottle tan/A man that smells like cocoa butter and cash.” I gag. Good idea, Miss Thing.
ALSO BLASTING FROM CAR SYSTEMS
8. Big Boi featuring Cutty – “Shutterbugg”
Sir Lucious Left Foot knows what’s up. This is the future. We need our hip-hop to be more than just ’hood. We need soul, we need style and we need to cut a damn rug up. This song’s been populating Saturday nights for a month or two now, and it’s not tiresome. He just turned it out with the Roots on Jimmy Fallon and it was sick. The whole record is a masterpiece kind of like Janelle Monáe’s. These two are the future’s future.
9. Usher featuring Will.i.am – OMG
What can you say? He hit it out of the park with this. You can’t stop it. If a gun was put to my head and I was told to choose a song to listen to on repeat between “California Gurls,” LMFAO’s “Shots” or this one there’d be no question. Usher’s a talented man (remember “U Don’t Have to Call”?) and even though Will.i.am is pretty much the devil incarnate, this is no “I Gotta Feeling.”
10. Kelly Rowland featuring David Guetta – “Commander”
She’s Top-Ten status, no doubt. Especially with her presence last summer, now, with this track she’s vogue-ing mirror-style with herself in tight latex. You’re in!
NEXUS link!
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