It’s August. Labor Day is a mere month away and with our last installment in the Song of the Summer battle, we named a Top Ten. Only a couple songs seem to have any kind of steam to push their way into consideration before a winner is crowned but a couple will enter into the list this week and push a couple suckers out of the way. But first, let’s talk about charts.
Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” currently sits on the top of the Pop chart having needled its way into your skull for 11 weeks now. Do we admit defeat? Do we let Katy lower that sash across her torso? Absolutely not. That shit is tired. A quick look at the rest of the Pop chart’s Top Ten is revealing, in that we needn’t let the charts weigh heavily on our consideration of what is actually good and gay. B.o.B. (or Bobby Ray) hit it big with “Airplanes,” and Travie McCoy’s “Billionaire” is still at it. Both of these songs are completely boring minus Hayley Williams’ (of Paramore) appearance on “Airplanes.” She’s adorable.
Mike Posner, now this one’s interesting. This “Cooler Than Me” song’s doing really well, and he’s sexy as hell. But, this song is brutal. The video is shiny and intoxicating, but the song just won’t cut it. Eminem’s success is slightly mystifying; “Love the Way You Lie” made it to our list, mostly because of Rihanna, but his presence on the Pop chart makes him a little gay, no? Must be tough for him.
Usher, Jason Derulo and Taio Cruz are holding down the R&B heavy hitting with “OMG,” “Ridin’ Solo” and “Dynamite.” Usher’s got it going on, always has and always will. But Derulo and Cruz are forgettable times ten. Rounding out the Top Ten are La Roux—the Brit electropop duo’s “Bulletproof” has been on the chart for 21 weeks—and the lovely and fresh-faced Shontelle, whose “Impossible” is a delightful power ballad. She’s a keeper and perhaps August will be hers for gracing magazine covers and talk-show couches.
As for our picks...
LAST WEEK’S LIST:
1. Adam Lambert – “If I Had You”
2. Nicki Minaj – “Your Love”
3. Eminem featuring Rihanna – “Love the Way You Lie”
4. Kylie Minogue – “All the Lovers”
5. Ke$ha – “Your Love Is My Drug”
6. Robyn – “Fembot”
7. Scissor Sisters – “Fire with Fire”
8. Big Boi featuring Cutty – “Shutterbugg”
9. Usher featuring will.i.am – OMG
10. Kelly Rowland featuring David Guetta – “Commander”
THIS WEEK’S LIST:
1. Nicki Minaj – “Your Love”
2. Kylie Minogue – “All the Lovers”
3. Robyn – “Hang with Me”/“Dancing on My Own”
4. Scissor Sisters – “Fire with Fire”
5. Ke$ha – “Your Love Is My Drug”
6. Big Boi – “Shutterbugg”
7. Shontelle – “Impossible”
8. Janelle Monáe – “Tightrope”
Adam Lambert discreetly disappeared off of the charts and out of people’s minds, it seems. His big gay video was so exciting and it still is. But maybe America’s not ready for a huge forest rave with weird cabaret outfits. Eminem will never helm a gay man’s Song of the Summer, period. Kelly’s “Commander” sunk on the charts. Her November LP release is worth getting excited over but the lead single just doesn’t have what it takes to become a national gay sensation.
Robyn’s been kicking ass and taking names this year, including a raved-about performance at Chicago’s Pitchfork festival. And I’m totally cheating by naming two songs but whatever, the new single for a danced-up version of the stunning Pt. 1 single “Hang with Me” is the lead single from September’s Pt. 2 and it feels like a perfect end-of-summer reflection on the summer flings that will undoubtedly come to a screeching halt in the next few weeks. And with “Dancing on My Own” currently banging in clubs on the regular, she actually concocted dance moves to fit the lyrics and they’re the gayest.
Nicki, Kylie and Ke$ha are all in tight contention and their singles are neck and neck at the moment. Scissor Sisters, Big Boi, Shontelle and Janelle are the wild cards, really. The newbies, “Impossible” and “Tightrope,” have been slow builders but after watching Janelle on Ellen the other day, she’s just got to be involved with this list. I’d rather have “Cold War” or “Faster” from The ArchAndroid register on people’s pop-culture radar but it’s just not the case. She’s got loads of charm. “Impossible” feels like the perfect melancholic conclusion to a sweaty, hot summer. This will be the comforting ballad for your summer-fling breakup that’ll get you moving to the club again. —Bill Chenevert
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