Title

 

It is an unseasonably cold morning

A layer of frost has anchored itself

On windshields outside his building

He gets riding and he is happy

That he wore that extra layer

And his winter hat and riding gloves

 

A tear creeps out of the corner of his right eye

Then his left eye

They slide down his cheeks

And he brushes his face with his glove

These tears are a surprise

Nothing is plaguing him emotionally

 

But this is just in the moment

And he can think of previous times

When tears came and it was like a storm

A levee breaks and water pushes through

As if it had been building, pooling

Since the last time he let himself cry

 

There was the time his dad's mom died

He cried almost out of obligation

But there was also that notion

Of looking death in the face

And knowing there's nothing you can do

But admit that they're gone forever

 

He thinks of how his legs are moving

Muscles contracting and relaxing

Oxygen entering his lungs

The yogurt and cereal bar digesting

And his eyes leaking salty drops of biology

It feels really good, it's reassuring

 

Not like the time, though, when it hurt

It hurt so bad when she wouldn't be his

"Just a friend," she said and he sobbed

He really did love her but it was confused

She was a dear friend and charming

What hurt was what he secretly knew

 

He swivels his head back and forth

Noticing this and that about passersby

Sometimes he'll hold his hands under his seat

To enjoy the sensation of balance

And the simplicity of having a destination

While his bell jingles as he passes over bumps

 

But today he was fighting them back

Critiquing some poetry with gay themes

Someone used the phrase 'the gay card'

And to think he thought so highly of her

She was bright and liberal enough

But some people just don't get it

 

So on his way home he tried to remember

That on this bike he can transcend it all

He listened to Sufjan Stevens and looked up

Swirved sharply left and right for fun

Standing and pumping on his feet for speed

To coast and not think of anything at all